Sharing Our Experiences

By Simon Collins
4:00 AM Wednesday May 5, 2010

New Zealand is still one of the best places in the world to be a mother, says a new report.

Save the Children’s annual Mother’s Day report says the average Kiwi woman will have 20 years of formal education and live to age 82, with almost all having health professionals present when they give birth.

By contrast in the worst place in the world for mothers, Afghanistan, a typical woman will have only four years of formal schooling and die by age 44, and only one in seven has a health professional present in childbirth.

But the report places Australia and four Nordic countries ahead of us on key measures such as maternal deaths in childbirth.

New Zealand’s overall ranking is also dragged down by a high death rate of six out of every 1000 children before the age of 5 – the same as in Australia but roughly twice the death rates of three or four in 1000 in Norway, Iceland, Sweden and Denmark.

The rankings are based on a weighted average of children’s wellbeing and women’s status in health, education, income and politics.

An Auckland obstetrician and gynaecologist who chairs an official committee on maternal and infant mortality, Professor Cindy Farquhar, said her committee found that our perinatal child death rate, between 20 weeks of pregnancy and one week after childbirth, was comparable with Australia and Britain, which was rated overall 14th-best place for mothers.

Our maternal death rate of 17 women for every 100,000 giving birth is quoted in the report as more than twice Australia’s rate of 7.5 and higher than in all but 11 out of 43 developed countries.

But Professor Farquhar said these figures were based on a very small number of actual maternal deaths – just 11 at last count in 2007.

TOP 10

Places for mothers, 2009 rank in brackets:

1 Norway (2)

2 Australia (3)

3= Iceland (4)

3= Sweden (1)

5 Denmark (5)

6 New Zealand (6)

7 Finland (7)

8 Netherlands (10)

9= Belgium (17)

9= Germany (9)

Source: Save the Children.
By Simon Collins

The new skills we teach our children seem never ending, however, some are an essential part of life. So, check out my toilet training tips for your toddler, to help you survive those slightly messier lessons in life!

You may notice these tell tale signs when your toddler is ready for toilet training:

1. Removing or wanting to remove their nappie after they have soiled themselves
2. Having an increased curiousity of the toilet, beyond wanting to play with the water in the toilet bowl!
3. Letting you know when they want to pee or being able to verbalise the words
4. Mimicking an older sibling, relative or friend by wanting to sit on the toilet seat

With all my children they have gone from nappies, directly to the toilet. I’ve never used a potty, toddler toilet seat or training pants but I have considered pull ups, but never used them either. That doesnt mean that any of the above wont work, but from experience I have not had any need for these.

What I have used is a hippo, a stepping stool in the shape of a hippo, to encourage them to put themselves on the toilet when the time arrives.

As with any learning for a child, there will be a trial and error period and although the messes may become frustrating, they are part and parcel of your child growing up.

I usually start toilet training between the ages of 2-3 and the most important advice I can give to you is to be consistent and persistent with your efforts. In fact, that piece of advice could be used for a number of lessons that you wish to teach your children of any age.

We currently have two avid toilet trainers in our household: Tiana – 28 months and Troy – 39 months. As the toilet training game goes, Troy is a little bit of a slow bloomer but has gone leaps and bounds ahead of his sister once he started.

Our Toilet Training Troopers

My 3 top toilet training tips for your toddler are:

1. Lead by example

Its usually much easier for a child to learn to use the toilet if they have a situation they can relate to. It is not uncommon for one of my toddlers to follow me into the toilet, and I wont discourage this, as it allows for a learning opportunity for them. That may seem a little bit uncomfortable to you but its a natural part of life. We all use the toilet, its not something to be ashamed of!

2. Ensure your child is comfortable with the toilet

Take the time to explain how the toilet works to your child. Let them know that they will not fall in if they position themselves correctly. And reassure them that until they are comfortable with going by themselves, you will always be there to make sure everything is safe and fine. Help them to be familiar with how the toilet works: Show them the cistern and tell them that when the button is pushed the ball inside the cistern releases the water into the toilet so that it flushes the toilet paper away into big drains. This a great opportunity for a “how things work” lesson – your child will be intrigued.

3. Always wash your hands

Its all part of the routine! You use the toilet, you wipe yourself and then to get rid of any germs, you have to wash and dry your hands. This is a lifelong lesson in personal hygiene and it starts from the very first use of the toilet or even coming into contact with the toilet. Ive found with some of my children that the hand washing part is the most enjoyable … soap and bubble time, YAY!! The other favourite is flushing the toilet and watching it all get swallowed up into the water.

4. Make them feel special with their very own undies

Part of my toilet training process involves wearing the big girl or big boy undies. It helps them to feel special and grown up with their very own set of underwear. You will find that your child enjoys having their very own set of whatever so undies come under that category too. You will find that it encourages them to want to wear their undies and not stay attached to their nappies.

You will have already noticed a slight pattern to when your child soils themselves whilst they were in nappies, this is a good indication for when to use the toilet.

First thing in the morning, when they awake, I put my child on the toilet and more often then not they will urinate. I’ll congratulate them on being so clever and grown up and provide lots of praise, all the way to the bathroom sink where they will wash their hands.

Initially your child may not make the connection between urinating and the toilet, so its a great idea to firstly ask if they would like to go to the toilet and then if they are unsure, to pop them on the toilet anyway. The first few days will be tedious, I usually ask or take them every 45 minutes to an hour until they have established for themselves when they want to go.

The worst of the toilet training is pooooos as Tiana and Troy call it. We are still at around 90% miss rate with the poooos but day by day its getting better. I almost resorted to pull ups since we have 2 toilet training but instead invested in some extra bottles of disinfectant and a huge helping of extra patience and tenacity!

There will be mistakes, but do not scold or smack your child … use a firm tone and let them know that poooos are for the toilet, not their underwear, behind the couch, under the bed, on the lounge room carpet or any other creative place they have found! It is a little embarassing for them too so dont make too much of a big deal over “spilt milk” its all fixable with a bucket of disinfectant a disposable cloth and a warm shower for your toddler!

So there you have it … a few tips for your toilet training toddler that I hope will help. Remember, its a lesson usually taught in a small amount of time, but it will last them a lifetime and be another step towards their own independence!! The upside will also be some savings to your pocket should you have been using disposable nappies.