Sharing Our Experiences

With 11 children where do we find the time to ensure that everyone has their special time? Thankfully I’m able to say … the answer to that question is easy.

I can honestly say that Ieremia and I aren’t starved for quality time with each other and that each of our children doesn’t have a complex due to lack of quality time with each of us.

I may work full time but that doesn’t mean that I don’t work hard at maintaining the relationships that I have with both my children and Ieremia. It’s a fine balancing act but thanks to the support of my older children and especially Ieremia, I’m able to achieve most things, and even get to take the 14km ride on my bike to work each morning (weather permitting).

I’ve detailed below how I’m easily able to keep track of time with each of my children, and it brings excitement to each and every one of them knowing that they will be getting a couple of hours at least, just with Mum. During the day, they all interact with Ieremia and get their own quality time with him, but they do look forward to their individual one on one time with me, to catch up and just enjoy the moment. I too, am able to de-stress from a day’s work and wander off into the daily happenings or events of each child.

Quality time also enables me to make time for a child’s sporting or other activity events, where I don’t miss out on those magical growing up moments. Sometimes we spend time just watching a DVD together, or maybe play some games on the computer, other times are spent drawing pictures, going out for coffee or just grabbing a bite to eat together. It can also be as simple as just taking a walk together. Quality time is one on one time with each other.

Our Quality Timetable

Not only do I find the time to spend individual quality time with each child, we also ensure that each age group: Littlies (3-9 year olds), Tweens (9-12 year olds) and Teens (12-19 year olds) get to meet with me also. This ensures that I can see how they are doing as siblings, as well as individuals within their age group. Meeting notes are taken down in a Family meeting book, so that if Ieremia or I need to refer to something it’s all written down. We each take turns at writing down the events of our discussion or conversations and if at any time something has been missed out, a message can be left in the book for Ieremia and me to see. Usually they’re little notes like, I forgot to tell you I’m working from 5-7pm on Thursday night, or Mum I forgot to tell you I need some new pens. We all love these meetings and they can last between 30 minutes to 90 minutes, depending on what’s up for discussion at the time. Most meetings usually take about 30 minutes.

And then once a week we get together as a family to catch up with each other as a family. These are always on Sundays and usually dinner, followed by dessert and then our family meeting. With the teens and I working, we sometimes lose that weekly contact as a family. Mainly due to so many of us missing at different times of the day.

But we manage, and may I say so myself, we manage very well.

Family meetings always finish with a song. It could be a nursery song from Kindy, possibly a Samoan song taught from their Grandparents, or even a song that is learnt at school.

The timetable is not a “written in stone” type of timetable, there is still the flexibility of changing with someone if they have something special to share with me, or if they will be unavailable on that day. What is especially beautiful about our quality time is that Ieremia and I have guaranteed time together, where the children know that we want to spend time uninterrupted, usually we watch a DVD, close the door to our room and just enjoy the quiet or even go to the Gym together to work out. All the kids between 7-19 years of age work together when Ieremia and I have our alone time, and they usually watch their favourite DVDs, draw pictures or read.

I truly am blessed when it comes to my family. Thankfully I am able to easily find time for myself, my relationship and my children without too much stress involved. My days are definitely full and although some days may prove challenging, I’m up for the challenge, especially if it’s to ensure that each member of my family is being catered to.

Time is my most valuable asset.

Time with my children and family are a treasure, and I want to ensure I spend it wisely.

Once a month, or sometimes once every 2 months my immediate family, Mum, Dad, brothers and sister, with all their partners and children, get together for a family meal and catch up.

I absolutely adore getting to see how big and beautiful all my nieces are and how big and strong my nephews have become. Its also a great time to see how well my parents are ageing, and they do a great job of it. As for my brothers and sister, I love to vibe off their energy.

Its a great time also for all our children to catch up with each other and to bond. As well as to interact with their Aunties and Uncles, Nana and Granddad.

My eldest brother Patrick and his wife Agnes have 9 children, my elder sister Caroline and her partner Danny have 4 children and my youngest brother Tuna and his wife Natalie are yet to add to the brood. We have quite a tribe.

I’m sure you can tell I LOVE MY FAMILY!

Family dinners ensure the younger generation gets to bond

Don’t get me wrong, we have had our moments. This post doesnt allow me to elaborate on that, but possibly in the future i’ll write a book on “the humble mumblings of Roseanne” LOL.

As all families do, so does mine, we disagree, we argue and at the end of it all, we make up and are happy families all over again. Those are the lessons I wish for my children to learn. To not hold grudges but to sort out their differences and lay them to rest. Life is too short to hold on to negative energy.

The other reason I love my family get-to-gethers is THE FOOD!

What a feast my family spread yesterday. There was chop suey Samoan style, Rice, Lasagne, Roast Pork, Roast Potatoes and Pumpkin, Fried Rice, Hot Chips, Egg Foo Young, Chow Mein, and others that i’m unable to recall at this moment. A great pot luck menu.

It’s so important to build on our relationships as family. I think that it is only human for us to sometimes take these ties for granted. That doesnt give us the excuse however to continue taking each other for granted because we can, and not make the effort to build stronger bonds.

Teach your children the importance of family gatherings at a young age

Family values are important to our children, as well as family gatherings.

It is all part and parcel of our children finding their place in both the family and the relationships that they form in their lives.

We can help them build strong, healthy and loving relationships if we expose them to the strong, healthy and loving relationships that we have with our own siblings and parents.

I know the impact that my family have had on me as a person and although it hasnt all been good, its been realistic, its been encouraging and its taught me to be alot more grounded.

I love my family for the love they have for me, purely for the person that I am, the life I choose to lead and the decisions that I choose to make. They may not agree with all my decisions or methods but they do love me and thats what counts.

Children are not easily deceived, so my children do see the conflicts I experience in my family but I believe this allows them to view reality in action. Not everything in this world is perfect. But if they observe the way we resolve our conflicts then they have learnt some valuable life lessons. I would not want my children to wear rose coloured glasses purely to please my parents and siblings.

I had a great childhood. My view of my family reflects this. Alot of the traditions and lessons I have given my children have been those that I have learnt from my parents.

My Mum and Dad, a great inspiration to our family

I love family Sunday dinners, hence the reason I continue these with Ieremia and our children. Every Sunday we have a meal and dessert together and meet as a family to discuss the weeks events.

We do the same sorts of things with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. We share a meal and discuss the events that have occurred since we last met.

Family is important.

Time to share with your immediate and extended family is important in your childs growth.

Make the time to build those relationships and you will see your child reap the benefits.