Keeping with this weeks theme “QUIT SMOKING”, I’m dedicating the rest of this week to providing information, tips and support on how to quit smoking cold turkey. Almost all of these details are from my own experiences but please feel free to provide me with your own personal tips or suggestions.
For those that aren’t familiar with the term cold turkey, that method of quitting is by just stopping, no longer smoking, going from your 10, 15, 20, 25, 30 – 50 cigarette habit a day to absolutely ZERO.
Ive tried many methods to quit smoking but all in all have found that the issue isnt the decision to stop or the act of stopping but the relapse. In other words being unable to stay quit. That seems to be the one obstacle if any, to stay a non smoker.
Its been 2 years since I decided to quit and although I still think about smoking, or even miss smoking, its never been enough to return to the habit. MY life is so much more better without the cigarettes. I exercise more, I spend more time with my children, I spend more time with Ieremia and I spend more time doing the things I love to do like writing.
When I was a smoker I had almost lost the desire to write thinking that I needed to have that fag hanging out of the side of my mouth while I tapped away at the keys. I was so addicted that I couldn’t get passed the fact that I couldn’t smoke while writing so just decided not to write. I’m passionate about writing, I always have been but I let smoking get the better of me and stopped doing one of the things I love most. I robbed myself of the magic moments that my words create for me but luckily I have made 2 of the best decisions in my life, firstly to quit smoking and secondly to write again.
Life is good!!
I started smoking in my early teens and at first it was because I wanted to be part of a group and it seemed that the only way I would fit is if I would smoke. And so the addiction began. At first I would just puff but not inhale the cigarette but after my peers complained about me wasting their cigarettes I started to inhale. I was addicted; hook, line and sinker. Before long I started to use my pocket money to contribute towards packs of cigarettes with my friends and eventually started buying my own packs. All this before I even turned 15.
My parents are both non smokers and so it wasn’t like we had been bought up around cigarettes. However, we did have Aunties and Uncles that smoked and of course there was our Granddad, he was an absolute train .. smoked incredibly heavily and died of emphysema because of it.
I hid the fact I smoked for a long time from my parents and it wasn’t until I got caught smoking at school, that my parents had the opportunity to address my smoking.
They discouraged smoking vehemently, but regardless of what they said I wasn’t quitting, I didn’t want to quit, I was way too cool and grown up to give up something that was all about me.
I smoked heavily for 25 years.
Over that time I tried many times to quit, unsuccessfully. The one thing I have learnt from those experiences is that it boils down to a few things:
* making a solid decision to quit
* putting a plan into place to avoid relapse
* rewarding yourself for your daily achievements
* creating a support network to encourage your efforts
* getting on with your everyday life
* making a commitment to living a healthier lifestyle
As the week progresses I will go more in-depth into the above and provide more steps for your success as a non smoker.
I am so convinced that my life has become better as a non smoker that I have even setup a website to support those on their journey to becoming and staying a non smoker. Check our quit smoking website out here.
As part of our appearance on TVNZ’s Tagata Pasefika this week, I’ve decided to go with a smoking theme for both our Weekly Feature and the Too Hard To Discuss section.
I’m sure this question is asked by many a parent who is faced with this problem – “I have a smoking teenager, what should I do?”
Let common sense prevail, “Quick, grab a bucket of water and put them out!” Okay, okay, not the best of jokes, but lets inject some humour into this before we get carried away with the seriousness of this topic.
As there is with all issues that come with teenagers, there are some things you may attempt to instil at a young age, and then there are others that happen regardless of how much you have tried to instil at a younger age.
In most instances the first step toward avoiding or correcting a problem is knowledge.
Talk to your child about the effects of smoking before this happens. By doing this, will enable them to make better decisions when the eventual peer-pressure-driven time comes. If you are able to teach your child some simple techniques or role plays so that when they are approached by their peers, or by other family members that smoke or by anyone else, to smoke, they will be prepared.
And they will have a response that will enable them to cope with these situations. This may in turn, enable them to cope with other situations where they feel socially pressured to do what is perceived as normal amongst their peers.
A coping mechanism if you will.
So lets start at the beginning and identify some of the reasons that this question would even be one that you are asking.
Statistics show that one, some, or all of the following may contribute to the reason your child may smoke.
Keep in mind, that statistics usually indicate what has generally been found, but there are always exceptions to the rule:
1. The child may be from a low income background.
2. They may have a group of friends or siblings who accept, use and encourage smoking.
3. Their Parents are smokers or smoked during a part of that childs life.
4. The child is easily able to access or buy cigarettes.
5. They may have no social support from or involvement with their parents.
6. The child may have low or no self-esteem or low self-image.
Teach your kids skills to say NO to smoking
There you have it, a bit of a background on the “I have a smoking teenager” side of things and why your teenager may be smoking, but now to the second part of your question …
“What should I do?”
Let me tell you a little story about my own experiences with a smoking teenager.
A story involving my 2 eldest sons and only recently, my eldest daughter.
I was somewhat prepared that this would occur, purely because I had smoked while I carried all of them, smoked around them as they were growing up, and continued to smoking until I quit 2 years ago.
Not the best role model for my children, then, and this is one of the biggest reasons why I decided to quit. To be a better role model for my children.
No Mother of the Year Awards for this Smoker
As a smoker I had tried to discourage my children from smoking by telling them, “Only stupid people smoke”.
That was a little hard for them to comprehend, especially since the Mum they love so much and look up to, was telling them this. Fag in hand, puffing away, without a worry in the world.
I guess it was incredibly hard for them, considering they had grown up around it. And as much as I tried to educate them on the reasons why they should not smoke, it still came down to the basic … My Mum is smoking so it must be alright.
(either that OR they’re thinking, “My Mum is stupid, and so am I”) hahaha
Over the years I would ask them if they had experimented with cigarettes or if they were even thinking about experimenting. And what if anything made them curious about the smoking. I was very concious of the fact that because I was a smoker, my children had a big chance of being smokers themselves. But I secretly hoped that the day would never come that they would ever say to me, that they had tried the dreaded and highly addictive drug.
But that day came soon enough, for my eldest boy when he was around 12 years old. He was caught with a group of other boys smoking. And at the time they werent sure if he was smoking but for sure he was tainted by association. But he told me that he had been smoking.
I then gave him the big talk on the evils of smoking, the terrible things the nicotine does to ones health, breath, teeth, the talk, the whole talk and nothing but the talk. And it appeared that he was on his path to smokefree heaven and had been put off.
Wrong!
After spending a bit of time as a social smoker, it looks like my eldest son is a full blown smoker.
What should I do?
As I have always done, and as I still do … I go over the information I have provided beforehand and hope that he will eventually return to the non smoker that he was born as.
Or at least once he was expelled from my womb.
In most cases I give my children rewards or consequences for their actions.
However, due to the addictive nature of smoking it is hard to say, “If you dont stop smoking, you’ll be grounded”. I’ve tried and it just makes the smoking that much more precious so that the child becomes deceitful and starts to lie about their behaviour.
Another lesson learnt for me, so I do what seems best … just keep communicating.
Remember to let them know your disappointment in their decision to smoke and why.
But at this stage, its good to switch tactics. For, Ive found that going over the psychology of smoking works so much more better for my teenagers than bleating on about the evils of smoking as I did when they were tweens and younger.
At this stage of my teens lives, I tell them my “smoke” story. I enjoy educating them on what I found caused me to smoke, why I gave up, how they can give up and the overall effects of the addictive nicotine on their thinking and lifestyle.
Like mother Like daughter
My daughter was upfront and honest in one of our discussions, I knew she had been having the occassional puff with cousins and friends but it shortly turned into full blown smoking. I initially tried to pretend like it wasn’t happening, but that didnt last long.
I prefer to live in the real world instead of the fantasy world where I am a perfect Mother with 11 perfect children.
Oh hang on, I think I am! *giggles*
After much discussion, my daughter and I came to a few agreements in terms of her smoking. We decided that out of respect for her Grandparents, Aunties and Uncles, myself and Ieremia she would not smoke in the presence of any of us. We also decided that she would not smoke in front of her younger siblings, as smoking is behaviour we discourage.
You may say or think that my strategy is akin to a “if you can’t beat em, join em” mentality, but I like to think that it’s closer to a strategy of “if you can’t beat ‘em, educate them”, for you can’t beat this out of them, you can hope to contain it.
Ex smoker on the left and current smoker on the right
As for my 2nd eldest son he has experimented in his early teens, as his older brother and younger sister did, as a social smoker, but to date, it appears to have given up on becoming a full blown smoker.
And this is a great thing!
In finishing I want to impress a few things:
Dont make smoking something that your teenager will find precious by forbidding it. Your teenager will only want to smoke more.
Both my parents were non-smokers but 3 out of 4 of my siblings, including me, all smoked
Educate your teenager on the effects of smoking, highlight family, friends and loved ones that have died as a result of smoking related illnesses so that the causes and effect of smoking, become more realistic to them. As well as discuss current smokers in their lives and the negative aspects of smoking on that person, ie: bad breathe, yellow teeth, yellow fingers, bad smelling, easily irritable.
Set a plan for your teen to quit, discuss the plan often so that when they are ready to kick the habit, you can swing it straight into action
Celebrate their achievements in kicking the habit no matter how small, it’s a step closer to them returning to their smokefree selves. Remember, that the average smoker that has quit, has repeatedly tried to stop smoking, on average 14 times, before they eventually quit. So celebrate this.
Click here to get more support in educating your teenager.
I received this email from my Brother and Sister-in-law and felt it pertinent to share it with you all:
INFORMATION EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW……………………..
Blood Clots/Stroke – They Now Have a Fourth Indicator, the Tongue
I will continue to forward this every time it comes around!
STROKE:Remember the 1st Three Letters…..S.T.R.
My nurse friend sent this and encouraged me to post it and spread the word.
I agree…
If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks.
Seriously..
Please read:
STROKE IDENTIFICATION:
During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall – she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) .she said she had just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes.
They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food. While she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening
Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital – (at 6:00 pm Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die. they end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.
It only takes a minute to read this…
A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.
RECOGNIZING A STROKE
Thank God for the sense to remember the ‘3′ steps, STR . Read and Learn!
Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.
Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:
S *Ask the individual to SMILE.
T *Ask the person to TALK and SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently)
(i.e. It is sunny out today.)
R *Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.
If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call emergency number immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher.
New Sign of a Stroke ——– Stick out Your Tongue
NOTE: Another ’sign’ of a stroke is this: Ask the person to ’stick’ out his tongue… If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other, that is also an indication of a stroke.
A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.
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