Sharing Our Experiences

By Simon Collins
4:00 AM Wednesday May 5, 2010

New Zealand is still one of the best places in the world to be a mother, says a new report.

Save the Children’s annual Mother’s Day report says the average Kiwi woman will have 20 years of formal education and live to age 82, with almost all having health professionals present when they give birth.

By contrast in the worst place in the world for mothers, Afghanistan, a typical woman will have only four years of formal schooling and die by age 44, and only one in seven has a health professional present in childbirth.

But the report places Australia and four Nordic countries ahead of us on key measures such as maternal deaths in childbirth.

New Zealand’s overall ranking is also dragged down by a high death rate of six out of every 1000 children before the age of 5 – the same as in Australia but roughly twice the death rates of three or four in 1000 in Norway, Iceland, Sweden and Denmark.

The rankings are based on a weighted average of children’s wellbeing and women’s status in health, education, income and politics.

An Auckland obstetrician and gynaecologist who chairs an official committee on maternal and infant mortality, Professor Cindy Farquhar, said her committee found that our perinatal child death rate, between 20 weeks of pregnancy and one week after childbirth, was comparable with Australia and Britain, which was rated overall 14th-best place for mothers.

Our maternal death rate of 17 women for every 100,000 giving birth is quoted in the report as more than twice Australia’s rate of 7.5 and higher than in all but 11 out of 43 developed countries.

But Professor Farquhar said these figures were based on a very small number of actual maternal deaths – just 11 at last count in 2007.

TOP 10

Places for mothers, 2009 rank in brackets:

1 Norway (2)

2 Australia (3)

3= Iceland (4)

3= Sweden (1)

5 Denmark (5)

6 New Zealand (6)

7 Finland (7)

8 Netherlands (10)

9= Belgium (17)

9= Germany (9)

Source: Save the Children.
By Simon Collins

Are you in need of expert conception advice and tips? Have you ever wondered how to get pregnant? These questions evoke varying responses from different people. Romance and emotion do play their part in the decision of having a baby. However, it is not uncommon to feel pained and frustrated, especially among the couples who are not able to become parents. Ideas of a kinky nature are bound to come to such couples.

Most newly wed couples take adequate protection against having a baby too quickly. However, in a matter of months, even as the duo is still getting to know each other properly, the eagerness to conceive a kid increases. This is hardly surprising, given the natural instinct of motherhood in ladies. A wife always wants to become a mother, since that gives her a sense of fulfillment. Thus, even in a fiercely competitive world, where the cost of everyday living runs into thousands, the craving for a baby remains high.

However, the females need to know how to get pregnant in a proper, healthy manner. The welfare and healthiness of both the mother and the kid, who would be seeing the light of the world soon, is of paramount importance. Hence, a careful perusal of the following discussion is necessary for me to help provide expert conception advice and tips:

• Women should start preparing to become a mother, at least 3 to 4 months prior to the actual delivery,
• Holistic measures for the maintenance of good health conditions is necessary for both the mother and child,
• A soon-to-be-mother should completely shun smoking and drinking habits,
• It is of paramount importance that no drugs of intoxication are consumed,
• Healthy, adequate nourishment is extremely necessary for women at these times. This is because both the pre-delivery and post-delivery periods are generally rather stressful for them, and
• For maintaining the desirable health conditions, minerals, proteins (that are easy to digest) and minerals should be consumed in adequate amounts.

It is also crucial to pay heed to some other important factors. Some such factors are:

* Thorough knowledge of one’s own body ? The period of ovulation in a woman is the ideal time for her to conceive a baby. Thus, she should be aware of the time of ovulation. There are, fortunately, many ways to find out what the time of ovulating would be. The ‘Post Ovulation Time’ (also termed the Luteal Phase) has to be estimated. This period, i.e., the time between ovulating and the date of commencement of the menstrual cycle, generally is fixed at 14 days in most women. The period starts after the length of the Luteal Phase, or 14 days after the occurrence of ovulation. There is an alternative way to find out the period of ovulation, which is based on the Basal Body Temperature method (i.e., the BBT technique). In this method, the temperature of the vagina is recorded by a specially-made BBT thermometer. This is done everyday in the morning. During the period of ovulation, this temperature rises significantly, and such increases can be easily tracked. For higher chances of conceiving a baby, sexual intercourse at these times is ideal.

* When does sexual union help in conception the most? ? This information is necessary, since it ensures that the sperms of the best quality enter the female body at the time of ovulation. Sperms should have quick reaction time when a woman ovulates. Hence, fresh sperm is required to be present in the body of the female immediately before ovulating. However, there may occur certain problems in the sperm of the males too. In such cases, men should not be releasing sperms, for a minimum of 3 days before the scheduled day of sexual union. These data is extremely important, in case you are wondering how to get pregnant.

* The ideal frequency of lovemaking for higher chances of conceiving ? Among other factors, a correct estimate of the ovulation period in women and the overall physique of men determine the ideal frequency of sexual union. There is a school of thought that, sperm count goes down, with a resultant weakening of the male sperm, if intercourse is held everyday. Conversely, others tend to think that the male sperm becomes ineffective, old and stale (with much lower potency) if it remains within the testicles, due to prolonged periods of abstinence. It is generally recommended that, sexual union, during the period of female ovulation, should be held about once in every 2 days.

In providing my expert conception advice and tips, my aim is to provide holistic solutions to the question of how to get pregnant. Such an approach helps to gain an insight about the inner workings of our body, and the reasons for not conceiving earlier. It also comes up with several usable solutions to this problem, including medicines and herbs of Chinese origin as well as changes in eating habits and overall lifestyle. Suitable exercise methods and, if required, acupuncture is also recommended. Unlike the conventional methods, the holistic approach has no adverse side effects, and has a much higher chance of providing the desired results. Hence, in these cases, holistic approach works much better than conventional ways.

This article is based on the book, “Pregnancy Miracle” by Lisa Olson. Lisa is an author, researcher, nutritionist and health consultant who dedicated her life to creating the ultimate pregnancy solution guaranteed to permanently reverse the root of infertility, help you get pregnant quickly and naturally and dramatically improve the overall quality of your life, without the use of prescription medication and without any surgical procedures. Learn more by visiting her website where you will find more expert conception advice and tips:
Pregnancy Miracle.

Why bring sexy back to your relationship you may ask?

Today it goes without saying that we strive to juggle. As Mothers, sisters, daughters and nieces, we have a role to play which at times can hugely impact our time as lovers and wives. The fine balancing act that we have to ensure we help everyone’s lives fall into the exact places that they want … but what about you?

In essence do you find yourself getting caught up with all the many hats you’re required to wear? I know I do.

And eventually something in your life suffers.

In all honesty that something is usually the relationship you share with your significant other and especially your sexual relationship.

With our busy lives we often don’t take the time to take that breather, and reflect on what it is that we require as women. What it is that we need to feel feminine in ways that we can only create with our significant others?

I’m challenging you right this moment to stop what it is you are doing for the next 15 minutes, complete reading this article and then take action. Don’t just read these great tips and then wish for the day that you could use them … today you are in complete control of how you can bring sexy back into your life.

Let me help you get those creative juices flowing with my 5 top tips to bring sexy back. You easily feel sexy at will:

1. Assault your senses with what makes you feel sexy

You and only you know what it is that makes you feel sexy. Sexy is a state of mind, a feeling, of which only you know when it is happening. When you feel sexy, your complete self exudes that very emotion and every pore of your body screams it.

That is the beginning and everything else will fall into place.

Maybe it’s the scent of your favorite perfume wafting delicately and teasingly into your nostrils. Possibly it’s the risqué and playful lingerie only you can feel close to your skin, that you are wearing beneath your work attire. Perhaps melodic tunes that get you into the right groove … listen to those seductive beats and rhythms.

Is it credible to say that a handful of almonds or a smattering of avocado to taste will be more than scientific aphrodisiacs?

It could even be as simple as taking a photo of you and your lover immediately after the throws of passion and viewing this picture to take you back to that place and time.

2. Be flirtatious with your significant other

Now that you are feeling sexy, lets amp it up just a little bit more. If you have been neglecting the love in your life, it will be a pleasant surprise to be that little bit more playful and suggestive. When your partner knows that the jungle drums are beating, their primal reaction will assist you to bring sexy back. Send an email … leave a ‘post it’ on the bathroom mirror … what about a note into their wallet … or put a pair of your panties into one of his pockets.

3. Make up your all important list.

You need reminders.

Whether they be listed in your appointment book ,diary, excel spreadsheet, cell phone, blackberry, or even a password protected document …you need to write a list of what sexy is to you. The purpose of this list is to remind you, or even prompt you of how you can quickly and easily bring sexy back, point by point on your list.

As women, I know different days bring different emotions, have your list adapt to these days and even if you have a list of 50-100 things … ensure you have a top 10 that will have you feeling and remembering the sexy woman you are within minutes.

4. Let your sexy be determined by you and only you

It is all too easy to seek someone’s advice to clarify or confirm you’re sexy. In most instances we will leave this to our loving others to provide us with this type of feedback … WRONG.

Take a big, huge, permanent marker and strike that off the list this very second!

You and only you will determine whether to bring sexy back and you will be the only one that can control that switch that says … YES!!! I AM APHRODITE IN PHYSICAL FORM!

Remember, you are the only one that knows when you are at your sexiest. You are the only one in control of your sexy-meter. Every other bit of attention that enforces and reinforces what you already know is a bonus.

5. Bring in the cavalry for those special moments

Our memories are a wonderful tool and all too often we forget to reminisce as couples.

Remember to take that time to reminisce and reflect on the days of old, when you first met and all the major warm-fuzzy-feeling milestones you’ve traversed in your relationship.

Take the time to have just some you time. Ask family and friends to watch children if you have them. Get your roomie to bunk in with someone else for the weekend. Call in favors with friends, colleagues, family, neighbors and anyone else you can think of to ensure that at least once every 12 weeks you get to have your mind blowing moments, completely uninterrupted by the world.

There you have it, my 5 tips to help you bring sexy back into your life and relationship. If you’re looking for 500 more precious and secret tips, I strongly suggest that you click here.

So this is a bit of a state the obvious post today.

Ive decided that the best way to approach most things is to start at the beginning and so where else is a better place then conception.

In order to have a baby, at sometime and place the baby has to be made and unless you werent given that essential, “where do babies come from” talk then we may have a few issues with discussing the following but im assuming that we’re all on the same page.

There are many old wives tales on conception and id have to say that from experience alot of them are pure, for lack of a better word, bollocks. Otherwise known as myth, I think thats the word I should have looked for and written but bollocks paints the appropriate picutre.

I remember being told about the different positions that could ensure the birth of a boy or a girl, or even twins and umm, I cant say that any of them has worked, and yet you will still find those that will swear by a certain position bringing them the sex of their child. I’ll have to dispel that myth now because unfortunately it comes down to coincidence.

Im no medical expert, my claim is to having conceived, given birth, raised and raising 11 children, so experience, research and a heap of common sense is where im able to assist.

What I can tell you is no myth, in terms of certain sexual positions, and that is the actual falling pregnant part of things. In order to conceive natually, sex is required, and so there are positions that may assist with conception.

Start your research here and you may be very surprised with the information provided on this topic alone.

I’ve had friends that have had major issues with conceiving but after a drunken night have found themselves pregnant … and here’s my take on that … when you’re trying for a baby you sometimes forget about the whole love making and intimacy with each other and concentrate on … making a baby. It becomes alot more tense and stressful for both parties because of the expectation that this sexual act will deliver a baby. In simple terms, you’ll find that after a few alcoholic beverages everything loosens up and becomes alot more relaxed … bingo! .. PREGNANT.

When you’re looking to conceive, remember that its still about making love and not about having a baby. Dont complicate matters by trying to create a baby and instead make it all about enjoying each other and the intimacy you are sharing.

After having given birth to 11 children, I think I have a pretty good gauge on what would be the ideal difference in age between children.

It is often asked of me as to how I made the age gap determination and what decisions played the biggest part in having another child.

The age difference between my eldest and youngest is 17 years, however, it is not this difference in age between the youngest and eldest children that causes much of an issue, it is more so the difference in age between each individual child.

The 2 oldest and the 2 youngest

So, starting from my eldest to the youngest the difference in age between children goes a little something like this:

Number 1 – Number 2 = 23 months
Number 2 – Number 3 = 14 months
Number 3 – Number 4 = 3 years, 8 months
Number 4 – Number 5 = 17 months
Number 5 – Number 6 = 23 months
Number 6 – Number 7 = 20 months
Number 7 – Number 8 = 20 months
Number 8 – Number 9 = 20 months (is there a pattern forming here ;P)
Number 9 – Number 10 = 21 months
Number 10 – Number 11 = 11 months

One would think, that from the numbers above, the ideal difference in age between children most definitely goes to the 20-23 month period. I definitely feel, that this time gap ensured I had a full recovery from the previous pregnancy for I was able to get a consistent routine between children.

The 20 Month age gap Club

By the time I found myself pregnant again, I was fully able to dedicate myself to the newborn, which is very important to me, and the transition for the newborn, into the family, and vice versa, was made extremely easy.

This time lapse, also enabled us to still provide a lot of quality time to my elder children, especially the child immediately preceding the newborn, to lessen any unwanted sibling rivalry or jealousy. From my experience, at 20-23 months, most children are learning their own independence and although this is usually an introduction to the terrible two’s I can confidently say that this did not create too much drama for our household.

All in all, I favour this difference in age between children purely for the fact that there is not too much of a gap where children find communicating or playing with each other difficult. There are still moments of growth that each is able to share, experience and discover with their immediately older or younger as well as other siblings.

Having detailed above, the easier spacing to deal with between children, the not so difficult and yet not so easy range would have to be 14-17 months. At this stage, patience for the parent can be a little strained, but with the tried and true routine, I still believe this age gap is manageable. This time usually indicates for me, the end to bottles and an introduction to the toddler years. This is where walking leads to running and the discovery of one’s other senses, through increased mobility. This can be a trying age for the parent, especially when your 14-17 month doesn’t quite comprehend all instructions as adequately as an almost 2 year old. Definitely not a walk in the park for the child either.

17 Months Apart

And these trying times show up for parent and 14-17 month child especially when you are trying to feed the newborn child. It was for me.

I suggest that if your toddler is awake during feeding times for your newborn that you sit the toddler down quietly beside you to share some reading time. I try to have the toddler turn the pages while I read the pages. I even make up a playful story as the pages are flicked in the “no set order”. The toddler will assume or engage them in blocks. There is also creative hand play where I have comment on the activities at hand while continuing to concentrate on providing a relaxed feeding time for baby. I’ve used this time to tell tall stories about our family, or silly stories about how my room is my castle.

15 Months apart

I truly want to say to enjoy the moments as much as possible and try to include your 14-17 month old in the daily routine of with the newborn so there is a sense of belonging and role of importance for your toddler.

I also need to touch on the more than 3 year gap. I also have a 3 year gap between my older sister and I, and I believe this difference in age between children may be hard to gauge. From experience, the age gap was very challenging for me. I felt as if I always wanted to do what my older sister was doing but felt restrained due to being 3 years her junior. However, the contrast I have with my own children is that my daughter is 3 years older than her younger brother and this doesn’t seem to have been a major issue, so I guess the gender of your child can play a major part in the difference in age between children.

I’m sure I’ll write more in detail about the 3 year gap in the days to come.

At the complete other end of the spectrum is the less than 12 month period. I strongly believe that had I endured an 11 month period between any of my earlier births, I may not have had so many children.

Truth. And Ieremia tells me the same thing.

The 11 month period between my number 10 and 11 was and is extremely difficult. Keeping in mind that I have a wealth of knowledge, tips and tricks from 10 previous children, yet, we were still not prepared for the 11 month gap.

11 Months apart has been very challenging

This, inability to deal with the closeness in difference in age between our last 2 kids, came as quite a surprise to the both of us. I say this because, Ieremia and I(actually Ieremia more than I, lol) had always, from every single pregnancy, wanted twins or a multiple birth. But after having Troy (number 10) and Tiana (number 11) so close in age, we have a new respect for parents of multiple births.

Ieremia currently refers to these two, not as affectionately, as his “twins”.

It became a daily struggle to manage both, since both newborn and toddler needed the same, if not exact, attention and time. Initially it was slightly easier to cope with the situation, since both of us were at home, and each had a wee one to manage. It was almost “business as usual” up until I returned to work. This is when Tiana was 3 months old, but this left Ieremia caring for both babies at home, and I know he has some fond stories of these times, to share with you all.

From my experience the 11 month and under gap is extreme and possibly not something I would recommend unless of course you had alot of support from your partner and/or family during the first 18 months.

To be sure, Ieremia and I have new found respect for those that have twins or more. We beleive if twins were born either in the first or second pregnancy, I would be a proud mother of 2 maybe 3 kids by now.

When all is said and done I truly believe that there are many contributing factors to whether there is an ideal difference in age between children but based on my experience I would have to stick to the 20 month and above gap. I truly have found that this ideal age gap contributed heavily in allowing me to continue to have found balance in time, efforts and support for all of my children in my life.

As it has been said before: “proof is in the pudding”

What are your thoughts? Is there an age gap i’ve missed that you would like me to address? Maybe the 18 year age gap between my eldest and youngest. Leave me your thoughts, questions or discussion points below.